You can't special order awesome
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize