the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
