There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize