I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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