have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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