I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
he wants to bone in the snuggie
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
