belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
