Having a random hookup so left but love u
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
