Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
