I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Gay?
German.
Pity.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize