I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
