What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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