I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
