I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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