Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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