Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
