Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
