this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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