I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
