I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
