Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
