Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He did a backflip because drugs
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