you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
