i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
