do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
