I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize