I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize
