so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
