Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
