I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
