margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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