She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
