my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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