I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize