i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
