chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
