Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
