I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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