4 words: hood of his car
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
