Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
