Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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