They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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