i need an iv and a liver transplant
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
