when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
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