People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
