How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
