we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
