did you get engaged???
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
