Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
