We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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