stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
