Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
