Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
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