3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
