The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
soo... how was my night?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
