My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
