It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
