forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
