I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
