There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
