i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
it's like iHOP with fire
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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