went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize