R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
