Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
