He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
